When children start using internet-connected devices, it is very important for parents to actively participate in this process and be digital guides. This way, it becomes possible to minimize the risks that inappropriate use may bring. It is evident that everything has an age, and problems often arise when very young children are given tools that allow them to have fun and communicate with others; however, a certain level of maturity is required to use these tools.

For example, it is not common for children under 15 years old to act by considering the consequences of their actions. Characteristics of impulsivity, exploration, instant gratification, and the search for group belonging that belong to childhood are more pronounced. Therefore, children need to grow up in homes where there are adults who will ensure their protection in the digital environment as well. It is important to teach them to pause before sharing, sending, or publishing.

Recently, we have been reading statements from Esther Arén of the Cuerpo Nacional de Policía, who specializes in combating cyberbullying aimed at young children. According to experts' recommendations, we should not give our children their own phones before the age of 12. Other institutions and professionals suggest postponing unsupervised access and social media use until later stages of adolescence; because the prefrontal cortex —the brain region that regulates impulsivity and critical judgment— is still in the development stage.

Through this messaging service, our children can talk, share all kinds of files (especially photos), receive information about homework or school activities, and organize events (birthday parties, meet-ups with friends, group work, etc.). This becomes a real messaging social network that requires parents to pay more attention; therefore, parental control and guidance are extremely important.

The ideal situation is to wait a little longer for your children to use this application and it should be remembered that WhatsApp specifies a minimum age for use in its own terms of service (children must have their parents' legal consent). However, when we decide for our child to use this application, we must first configure the highest security settings when installing the app on their phone. And from this point on, it is important to know that we need to implement continuous, in-depth, and dialogue-focused supervision.

Can Children Use WhatsApp?

Esther also states that it would be better for children not to use WhatsApp at a very young age or without adult supervision.

According to the information available on the service's website, there is a minimum age for use (the minimum age allowed without parental approval in each country); in this case, if a child is under this age and downloads WhatsApp to their phone and accepts the terms, the company assumes that parents are aware of and accept this situation; however, in practice, many families have not even read these terms.

If we move away from technical details and focus on common sense, how reasonable is it for a 9 or 10-year-old child to have their own phone and thus WhatsApp? How necessary is it for their development? Often the main argument is social pressure (“everyone has it”) or the convenience for adults (“so it notifies when they arrive”), but the potential emotional, social, and legal risks are not thoroughly assessed.

And now, let’s address the extreme situation where you think your child should have a great device and the world’s most well-known messaging application… make an effort to provide information about at least usage recommendations, set clear rules, and review privacy settings together. This does not only mean supervising; it also means teaching your child to manage their own digital environment responsibly.

The decision is in every family's hands: we cannot deny the reality surrounding our children, but we are not obligated to give a smartphone just because "everyone in my class has one" (remember that the concept of "everyone has it / everyone is doing it / everyone is allowed" is exaggerated). It is more sensible to question whether our child demonstrates self-control, respects rules, and manages disappointments and conflicts without losing their composure. These indicators are more important than their actual age.

Moreover, we should not forget that a mobile phone is not just a device for making calls: it brings together many things like social media, video games, messaging, news access, adult content, and public channels. Giving it as the first "big gift" without a guidance process can turn it into a real digital Trojan horse: a gateway to content and relationships for which they are not yet ready.

WhatsApp, Children, and Safety

Using WhatsApp is so easy that it seems appealing, but any information can be forwarded by the recipient to others within seconds. I do not fall into the trap of thinking that my children's WhatsApp friends are treacherous, nor do I believe that "secret" shares or photos will circulate on the devices of other children at school or the institute; however, such a thing could happen (and in fact, the sharing and distribution of sexting is common, even though it may initially seem like a private game between two people).

Meanwhile, my 13-year-old son has had a phone and WhatsApp for a year; my 10-year-old daughter neither has a phone nor will she have one anytime soon. This difference is not arbitrary; it depends on his level of maturity, how he manages conflicts with his friends, whether he respects rules, and how he reacts without constantly turning to the screen when bored or disappointed.

Therefore, it is important to pay attention to what is said and shared: it is beneficial for both children and adults to occasionally engage in "mental simulation": "imagine that what you are going to say or share will be seen by 50 or 500 people, think twice or three times before doing so?" (in fact, we behave differently in groups than in one-on-one chats, which increases the impact of each message).

There is one more thing you should know: by accessing the "Settings" function of the personal profile, we find the "Account" subsection; this is where we can change Privacy and Security settings. From here, for example, we can control who can see the profile picture, information, status, last seen time, or read receipts. You can also limit who can add your child to groups and enable additional protections like two-step verification. Taking 15 minutes to review these settings with our children is a very concrete way of digital security education.

WhatsApp also adds functions like broadcast lists and public channels in addition to chats and groups. These channels can open the door to violent, sexual content, mass mockery among schools, or dangerous viral challenges. It is important to explain to children that, although the app may seem like a private environment, there are areas that can function as real public platforms without appropriate filters.

Therefore, when a child starts using WhatsApp, it is important that the first contacts are with knowledgeable individuals (family and close friends) and that the groups they join are monitored by reference adults (for example, the parents of the class). Initially limiting the size of the groups reduces their exposure to conflicts, gossip, hurtful "memes," or misleading chains that they cannot filter.

More Advice

When children are young, if they want a mobile phone and WhatsApp, parents can agree to keep their groups on their own phones. This is a good solution that offers them the opportunity to experiment and practice. If parents commit to not “secretly monitoring” their conversations, it will be easier for them to accept; they will only monitor when absolutely necessary (in cases of suspected bad practices, warnings from other parents, or observed behavioral changes in the child).

You should set the condition that you will review the app from time to time with your child and establish the rule that they must show you anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, confused, or scared. You should repeatedly emphasize the importance of maintaining privacy, not sending photos that could be disturbing to themselves or others, and not harming anyone in information sharing. These values become even more important when it comes to mobile connectivity; because everything on the screen has effects in the real world.

It is important for children to get used to regularly deleting their screenshots and pictures; because in case of theft or loss, others will not know the activities on WhatsApp or any other stored information. Additionally, it is very important to set a password with a pattern or PIN to unlock the screen and, if possible, link it to an email account so that it can be restored if forgotten. This is not only about avoiding curious looks at home; it is also about preventing a stranger from accessing the phone and the child's private life.

You can set up parental controls or apps that track activities on your child's phone; however, what is most important to me is continuous communication, as this not only provides closeness but also allows us to update the advice we give to children as the functions of the apps change or new risks emerge. Control tools can be supportive, but they can never replace a trusting relationship where children can share what happens to them without the fear of immediate judgment.

It is very important to limit the use of WhatsApp as much as possible; because this app is particularly addictive and can cause your child to be glued to their phone throughout the day. Therefore, in this case, there is a greater need for reasonable usage rules we set for phone calls or other actions. Setting a limited daily usage time together with them and putting it in writing as a small “family contract” is a good way to increase and maintain commitment.

Additionally, it is critical to set aside screen-free areas and times: meals, study hours, sleep times, outdoor activities, family visits… This way, children will understand that the phone is a tool in their lives and will learn that not everything is centered around entertainment, relationships, and their identity.

Children are extremely attracted to new technologies and the opportunities they offer. The immediacy of being connected to everyone fascinates them; however, as parents, we must not only be cautious about certain risks but also set an example for how to use it and establish appropriate usage rules. If an adult stays connected throughout the day, responds to work messages at any moment, or checks social media during dinner, the message conveyed to the child is that this behavior is normal and desirable.

Common Risks: Sexting, Grooming, Cyberbullying, and Overexposure

There is a risk not only of sexting but also of grooming and cyberbullying (the frequency of this situation has increased). All of this is compounded by excessive exposure of their private lives, access to age-inappropriate content, constant comparison with others, and the rapid spread of gossip or humiliation through groups.

In school or institute WhatsApp groups, jokes or humor about a friend or friends are often shared. It may seem like an innocent thing at first, but over time, when repeated or combined with the silence of others, it can turn into persistent bullying. It is important for children to understand that they are also complicit in harm when forwarding a mockery, a humiliating video, or photo; even if it is something they did not create.

Similarly, as users of this messaging service, we know that often things that are inappropriate even for adults circulate: explicit violence, sexual content, gambling, hate speech, dangerous viral challenges, or fake news. Therefore, we need to exercise a certain level of control over what our children receive in groups or chats. If you see something you dislike, ask your child to leave the group or block the person who sent the message, and explain why this content is not appropriate for anyone, especially why it is not suitable for a child.

Additionally, teaching children the importance of privacy is vital. Your phone number is valuable information: you should not share it arbitrarily on social media or with strangers, and you should not allow others to spread it in groups without permission. It is also not a good idea to share detailed information in status updates or groups, such as where they live, when they leave school, or when they go on vacation; because this information can be exploited by malicious individuals.

Legally, it is recognized that children and adolescents have the right to dignity, privacy, and communication confidentiality; this applies in digital environments as well. Giving a mobile phone and opening the door to WhatsApp does not mean giving up on their protection: as responsible adults, it is our duty to explain the risks, set reasonable boundaries, and be a safety net they can turn to when they are concerned.

Preparing Children to Have Their Own Phones and Use WhatsApp

Mother, father, “when will I get a phone? Everyone in my class has one.” This moment will come one day in almost every family. Before answering, it may be helpful to ask some questions: What do they really need it for?, will they respect the rules?, how do they react to frustration and boredom without a screen?, are we adults ready to support this process?

According to many family experiences, parents tend to gift the first phone before the age they have set for themselves. Additionally, a significant portion admits that parents do not use control tools or review the content their children consume or share. Giving a phone within “cyber freedom” and then trying to teach how to use it rarely works; it often leads to conflicts, arguments, and sometimes the sudden withdrawal of the phone after a bad experience.

It is better to design a gradual access: starting first with shared devices (tablets or family computers), then with monitored accounts (for example, using the connected device option of WhatsApp on a tablet or PC, with the main session managed by an adult), and then considering their own phone with clear usage rules. This way, they do not transition from “nothing” to “everything” in a single day.

Before having their own phones, it is beneficial to discuss topics such as respect in conversations, the difference between joking and humiliation, the value of digital reputation, the importance of resting without a screen, managing jealousy or comparison on social media, and permission for taking and sharing photos. It is also important to explain what to do if someone bothers them, blackmails them, or sends something disturbing.

Additionally, it is a good idea to agree from the beginning that adults can occasionally monitor the use of the phone (for example, by reviewing screen time, installed apps, who they talk to most often, or the types of groups they participate in). It is important to explain this clearly, to avoid a tone of spying, and to focus on the idea of care: “when you were little, it was my responsibility to accompany you in the digital environment.”

Finally, I would like to point out that online behaviors can be appropriate and healthy, but they can also be morally wrong or even illegal; in this context, it is important to remember that criminal responsibility begins at the age of 14. Sharing a friend's private photo, spreading a humiliating video, joining a group where someone is being bullied, or threatening via messages can lead to consequences that are not limited to a punishment at home or a reprimand at school.

The earlier you discuss this topic with your children, the more prepared they will be to practice their cyber citizenship and turn devices and the internet into tools for making progress and building constructive relationships with others. Allowing a child to have their own phone and use WhatsApp is not an indication of obligation or blind trust; it is an educational decision that requires time, dialogue, consistency, and adult modeling so that the digital world complements their real lives — not replaces them.

Images — microsiervos, apdk.